"A wise girl kisses, but doesn't love..
Listens, but doesn't believe,
And leaves before she is left."
-Marylin MonroeTRUEEE MOTHA-EFFINN STORYYY! So many things in my head that the only way I can possibly think of going about writing is just by saying [[writing]] what's on my mind as it comes to me..this blog may be all over the place..appearing like it makes no sense..but then again that's exactly how dudes get my head like
1.How can a
GREAT day become the worst from something as simple as not getting a phone call?
it's not the case this time but you understand what I'm saying?..just something so small that involves
that guy can make your day the most depressing...like I wish there were some sort of explanation to it cause it really bloks my mind how someone can have such an effect on another..then it's even crazier when at first THEY were the ones who were head-over-heels for YOU...then the scripts are flipped :-/ ..Why is that?? like for realll I'm sooo desperate to knowww...it makes it more frustrating when people see you as "a great advisor" or the one with all answers [[okey I'm over-exaggerating]] but you can't answer your own questions...who CAN I run to when most everyone comes to me?..it's sooo easy to help others resolve their problems but when it comes to mine it's like a constant war between self &&the brain...I can't get my own mind right :-/ ... like ugh!..there are soooo many questions.. &&who's to blame? I can't blame myself because I refuse to dumb myself down for any dude..I can't blame dude cause he's doing WHAT HE'S gotta do ..maybe I'm trippin, maybe I'm not...
2.Why do guys feel the need to waste your time?!
more than most this one probably aggravates me most..like first time around you study the guy..you get to know him &&see what he's about..if all goes well usually things go from there, in my case it didn't get anywhere so we decided to just be friends.. now why do guys feel to CONSTANTLY try pushing things from more than "just friends" ..now they say you can't be "just friends" with someone you love at THAT level BUT WOAH..Love..chilllllll ..like if we're gonna be just friends don't call me for late night phone calls..that's what we did THEN..don't text me all day to make stupid conversation..it was cute BEFORE..&&don't question why we didn't work out or can we do it again if you're not all in for it..ARGH!..it just pisses me off..like for any other guy talking is just that..but when you develop feelings for someone it takes even longer to get over them..why is that?...&&why bring up the past if you're trying to make it work as just friends?...situations like this as I look back on the passage &&read through don't seem like it's such a big deal but when you've had the same issues before the anger just keeps building....
3.Why do I fall for
that guy?!
..I don't have a label to pin-point but the ones I seem to develop any type of feelings for are the same...not exactly the same cause I learn from them but in the end the similarities come to light... I've come to find that they always know the right things to sayyy..does that make me gullible?..no not exactly cause I don't believe everything a guy tells me but the ones who get to me can sayyy things to have me bouncing...example: me &&the guy who inspired this blog had problems in the past..we start talking &&he asks if we "Have another chance in romance?" ..I say I don't know because I really AM willing to try again but at the same time there is no other chance..if you think about it a relationship is a relationship..there's no do-over or re-try..it is what it is...if in the past it didn't work out, you work from there to make it better... it's not a fucking game...UGH! just makes me soo mad..so whatever I explain to him about an ex who recently checked up on me with the basic bullshit guys like to pull to try &&win you back &&I told him "I'm not with somebody, but that somebody &&I are kind of complicated"..he [[not the ex]] then tells me "Tru dat! It is! But I woodnt wanna be more complicated wit anyone else!"...now that throws me cause it's cute &&it's deep..but is it game?..like there's sooo many thingsss that go through my head whenever MY MAINN DUDE at that point in my life is in my life...but why make things soo complicated..be open..tell me what you want &&don't fear rejection..if you want love tell me you want love..if you find me interesting tell me so..if you want sex I doubt you'll get it but you'll be up front with it &&we won't waste time you'll keep going about yours &&I'll do me..SIMPLE AS THAT...like why does there have to be this game??..I really don't understand it ...where's that guy you see in movies?..the one that's struck by your beauty while you're scraping gum off your shoe ...the boyfriend who's stuck at home thinking about you while you were out with friends &&does something as small as color a picture of your favorite cartoon character &&leaves it on your windshield for you to see the next day..you know I watch the Tyler Perry movies &&I can't cease to believe that the leading men in the movies are my ideal guy but then again what gay guy/woman doens't think like that???...I don't know mann it seems we all [[straight men included]] want the SAME THING but make sooo much more of something soo simple..hmmm??
oN a muCh LigHter noTe
KEE-UTEE RIGHT?! ;-]]
..yeaa I love my cute little star...like I hold everything on my right hand noww just to show it off haha ;-pp ..got it on Friday..last minute thing ACTUALLY it was a pact...SHOUTS: TO LAURITA FOR STICKIN THROUGH WITH THE PLANNN [[YEAA RIIIGHTT]].. but it's cool cause I've wanted a starrrr* ..next up:I call it The Pisces ..you'll see ;-]]
grrreaaat day today [[besides the jerks in life]] ...sparked up my testosterone &&spoke to my manager about a raise!!!...SUPER EXCITEDD!!!!...like I didn't get a "Yea" but I got a "I'm gonna look into that..." ...my fingers ARE crossed cause $6.67 is not enough for my standards...seriously..especially now with trying to REALLY get my life on track [[bartending,school,savings]].. hope all goes well...I had started this blog entry before I left to the movies..soo I'd say it was 8-9ish when I started &&I'm ending nowww... FYI:I KNOW WHO KILLED MEEEE..THAT FUCKING MOVIE THAT'S WHAT KILLED ME SMFH....PURE GARBAGE!!!!!!!!...how's my mood now compared to earlier? I'm more relaxed..still amazed at how much a person can have control over your emotions..I'm quick to bounce back though sooo it's not bothering me as much anymore..still on my mind but not dwelling on it??...over-reacted with actions? maybe ... am I over-thinking a situation? possible... but like I said I refuse to play the fool having the thoughts that I have only to come out looking like a dumbass after proven true... I listened & didn't believe..therefore I left before I was left
